When Colors Invade the Gray.

Have you ever had a day where everything seems more alive and colorful? A day when it seems that creation itself is swirling with the DNA of the Creator, breathing in His breath and exhaling His glory. Today is one of those days. If you are painting mental images of a sunny day with blue skies and a crisp autumn breeze blowing through the trees, let me stop you right there. In the natural, it is a miserable day. It is cold, damp, dreary, and raining. I've been running all over the area trying to find a laundromat, without success. I'm tired and my bones ache from the dampness, berating me for getting out on such a nasty day. So why do I write of the day being alive and significant? Because the gray has been invaded by color. The leaves here seem more colorful than any I've ever seen. Could it be that they are a harbinger of the harsh winter that lies in wait just around the corner? Is that why they shine so brightly? Maybe it's just my imagination...or maybe it's the gray.

Since June my life has been full of shades of gray; the unknown, the unanswered questions, the sting of loss. Different friends have different explanations. When talking about all the people who "prophesied" that Denise would live, some declare "Sovereignty...everyone missed God". Others imply (but deny that they are implying) "Not enough faith". The wisest say nothing at all. Me? I say "Gray". It's a mystery, a gray area, that I have no explanation for...and I'm ok with that. Still, the shades of gray in life get old. I was pondering this today when I began to notice how colorful the leaves are. Not just the normal "Oh it's autumn, the leaves are changing" colors, but vivid, bright, exciting, breathtaking colors. Why do they look so different I asked myself? Because they are being displayed against a backdrop of gray. If the sun had been shining, they would have been pretty, but secondary to it's splendor. But on a day like today, they are the splendor. They remind us of His goodness and majesty, even when it's gray. No, especially when it's gray.

The same is true in the spiritual. In the darkest of days, we have the privilege of shining and reflecting His glory. In the dark days that are coming, His people, His bride will shine with color like never before. The world will look on us with awe and wonder as we declare His majesty through our lives. Isn't that amazing. He uses the gray to make colors more vibrant. Many years ago, before I met Denise, a friend and I wrote and recorded some songs. I gave Denise a copy of the tape when we first met and her favorite surprised me; it was a song called "November in the Spring". It was a bit depressing to me, but she loved it. I found the tape a few months before she died, and she reminded me again which one was her favorite. I've been thinking about that a lot today, wishing I could remember all the words. The part I do remember is this:
"...And if you feed me death, I'll gladly take a bite And when the darkness comes, Lord you will be my light And I will sing, though it's November in the spring..."

When I wrote those words, I was clueless how close to home they would hit. So much has changed since writing those words. I can't remember what I was going through that made me think I was ready to go home. Whatever it was seems so trite and irrelevant now. Now is when I should feel that way, but I don't. Far from it! I raise my glass in a toast to life in His honor and service, and I thank Him for each day, even the gray days. I will live my life and run the race that is set before me. I will not look to the left or right. I will not be distracted by the gray days. He has healed and sealed my heart, teaching me to love and trust Him in the face of adversity. He is calling me to worship Him with abandonment during the most difficult, painful times.
Jesus, I hear your call and I say "YES" with all that I am. Yes, I will trust you! Yes, I will serve you!! Yes, I will praise you when it is truly a sacrifice to do so! Yes, I love you! Yes, I believe that you are Good and your mercy endures forever! Yes, Lord...a thousand times YES!