I wonder how many people will find this again? It has been almost 4 yrs since I last wrote. Life has been incredible and busy. I'm not sure how much I can catch you up in one post, but I'll try...
So, I left a bunch of folks hanging. I was at IHOP-KC, trying to process the death of Denise. My time at IHOP-KC was amazing, as I poured out my heart completely...the tears, the anger, doubt, confusion, and everything in between. I wrote in my last post that I would follow up with "The Wedding", an unwritten chronicle of her funeral, which I preached...it is still unwritten, at least on paper. It is written on my heart, and the hearts of those who were there...to say their good-byes...and I've said mine.
So what has happened since we last talked? Honestly, I am completely overwhelmed at even trying to answer that question. The answer will probably come out a lot like a baby who is projectile-vomitting: messy, seemingly endless, and with no direction, so here goes...grab a poncho, because this could get as messy as the front row at a Gallagher show...
Not long after Denise died, I met Melanie. I will not EVEN go into the whole "mandatory mourning time" arguement, though I will say that, thanks to my Grief Recovery training, I wasn't trying to replace the loss of Denise with someone new....anyhoo...like I was saying, I met Melanie. We fell in love, and we began the rocky journey of starting a relationship where there is baggage involved, and I ain't talking about Samsonite. She was recently divorced & I was newly widowed...Readers Digest version: We survived and got married in March 2006. In a short period of time, God had healed my heart AND gave me an amazing new wife. Since He delights in performing miracles, and He loves giving His kids good gifts, we shouldn't have been surprised when almost immediately…like 3 weeks into the marriage…He got us pregnant. Ok, well it wasn’t an immaculate conception…I got her pregnant, and had a great time doing it….BUT…neither of us thought we could have kids, so it was a miracle to us. Nine months later, our son was born…Noah Gregory Sullivan. That’s right folks; I became a first-time Dad at the ripe young age of 42. Fast forward 18 months…We were loving life, I was doing full-time worship leading, Noah was growing like a weed….life was GREAT. And, since Noah was a one-time-wonder-miracle baby, the thought that Mel could get pregnant again never crossed our minds…or any other parts of our bodies. God must have laughed and laughed at our shock of finding out we were going to be parents again. We were thrilled…excited….we had this down now…the second one would be SOOO much easier we told ourselves…we were experts…we had lost our freakin minds. In January of this year, 2009, Anna Grace was born. She is an amazing little girl…much more strong-headed than Noah ever was, but beautiful, and fun, and full of life…yes, we are so blessed. God has been amazingly faithful to us…and He has given us the desires of our hearts, and in doing so…He has also given us another great gift…the will and discipline…to practice birth control.
I know, some of you are flipping out right now…birth control? How dare we? What if God wants us to have 15 more kids? Well, if He does, I think we will know it before you…and if He does…I think He will give us a doctor who believes in prescribing strong drugs, and a live-in marriage counselor who doubles as a nanny, cook, maid, home-school teacher…and probably much more. I am just kidding…sorta…
Honestly, we have had some serious marital issues over the past year or so…days we didn’t think we were going to make it…once I even packed my bag, and Mel didn’t care that I had packed my bag. We are in counseling, but we know what to do: Esteem each other greater than ourselves. I need to love my wife the way Jesus loved the Church…I know that…but I am self-centered…selfish to the core…and I want my way….and I want to be right…and God is changing me…not as fast as I want…but the Holy Spirit is moving in me…constraining me…breaking me & re-molding me to look like Jesus. I am so thankful and so pissed…I will write more about my struggles and our marital struggles in the days to come…I will write about worshiping God and how it can be an act of warfare for marriage. I will tell life stories, offer my thoughts on church, worship, and ministry. I will probably offend you occasionally, and hopefully, make you laugh…and think…quite often.
The next 2 or 3 posts were written over the past few months, but haven't been published, so I'll go ahead and post them, and put the real date at the beginning.
Welcome back to my life...glad you are here!
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