Medication (The End)

"...Because the truth is I need you
Just like the air I breathe
Just like a freight train needs the tracks beneath
I'd rather suffer my whole life
And be this rich mans wife
If loving you means suffering,
Then I don't want medication, just give me liberation
Even if it cuts my legs right out from under me
Don't give me medication, I want the real sensation
Even when living feels just like death to me."
Derek Webb - "Medication"

So we waited...and prayed...and hoped. We quoted the Scriptures and acted as if God was obligated to heal Denise. I went from arrogance to humility to desperation...all in a few hours. I realized later that our prayers can almost become a form of incantations...formulating the right words and the Word...twisting them around like a magic formula. But in that hospital room, I knew only one thing...my wife was slipping away...while we waited. A group of close friends from North Georgia drove down that evening to see Nece. Our friend Jon Yerby came too...Denise loved to worship when Jon was singing and leading...and there in that quiet, still room he sang to Denise...he sang over her these timeless words:

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,
In ancient times did'st give the Law,
In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

The air was thick with the power of those words penned so long ago. I almost thought I saw Nece smile just ever so slightly. Our friends prayed with us, cried with us, and encouraged us to stand firm in our faith...and then they left to return home. If Nece had been able, I'm sure she would have quoted a line from a David Hogan sermon that we heard years ago...his son had been stricken with some type of demonic attack and was near death...someone wanted to call an ambulance, but Hogan wouldn't let them...He told them "Jesus is gonna show up any minute now and touch my boy...so just leave us be." Nece loved that...she said it many times..."Jesus is gonna show up any minute and heal me..."

Her breathing was now very difficult...only taking a gasping breath every 30-40 seconds...each breath brought relief to me...and the fear that it would be her last...but then she would gasp again...and my fear was relieved...and her suffering prolonged...

My sister was there with Linda and I as we waited past the midnight hour...and into the 1st day of June. Linda and I were both exhausted, so she curled up in a chair to try and get some sleep...and we prayed and waited...

A few minutes before 3am I knew I had to get some "rest". My sister agreed to keep watch and pray over Nece...and I stretched out in the chair..."I love you Nece", but I knew there would be no reply this time...Oh how wanted to hear those words...my favorite words that I'd heard every single night for almost 8 years..."I love you too, Moshe..." but not this time...not ever again...

My sister swears that Denise was waiting for me to go to sleep...the instant that I started to snore, the strangest and most beautiful thing happened...Denise lifted her head and looked with her blinded eyes towards the door...and she smiled. My sister says it was the biggest, most beautiful smile she had ever seen...my Nece smiled...and she was gone. My sister woke me and she was half laughing, half crying...she was more excited than I've ever seen her. She was trying to be sensitive to me, but...she had just watched my wife enter into glory. She was allowed to watch as Nece heard her Bridegroom call her name...and she ran to Him. Before we got married, Denise wrote me an incredible poem that we had framed...near the end of it she said something like "A perfect man God made only once and His bride waits for His return. The perfect man for me He has brought to me and this bride waits no more". I haven't thought about that poem in a while...but indeed...her waiting is over...and she will never need medication again.

And His Bride waits...and longs...and moans. Even now I'm struck by the fact that when Denise & first met online, her email address was Rev2217..."The Spirit and the Bride say come..."
That was the cry of her life from the age of 13 when she met Jesus...on June 1st, 2005 He came...to her.

I'll continue our journey soon...next stop...the Wedding.